Happy New Year & A Sincere 'Thank You' (e-version)

We just want to take an opportunity to say Happy New Year and 'Thank You' for being in our lives. Whether you are in it daily, monthly or bi-annually, we love you and this is the best way we know to let you all know that you are very much thought of. We are not good ... actually embarrassingly bad at Christmas cards and any other kind of note that you can think of. We are still staring at a pile of thank you notes from our wedding ceremony from April '06. We're also staring down a pile of thank you notes for Liam's baby shower and his announcements. If I were to try to justify ourselves, I would say we're trying to go 'green' by not sending cards, paper and being e-friendly. The truth is that we get so consumed in everyday life that we don't get around to it. It's not that we don't want to. We buy the things or in one case they were given to us for a present - already stamped and addressed - and we still haven't sent them out. We're great at intention, bad at execution. Our hope is that we isolate that to this are of life. So if you're waiting for a thank you note from us for any event, please be patient, it might come one day. Until that hopeful day, please know during this season that we thank you, we appreciate you and we're honored you're in our lives.

Takers

I just watched the movie "Instinct" the other day in about 3 parts with Courtney. I think I had seen it before, but either could not remember it, or didn't care what it was about at the time. In the movie, Anthony Hopkins (Sir Anthony) plays a mute prisoner in a maximum security psych ward for having been ruled incompetent to stand trial for murder. For two years prior to committing murder, he had lived among gorillas in Africa. Cuba Gooding Jr. plays a young phychologist that wants to get through to Hopkins' character in order to get him a trial and more importantly be the 'one' that got through to him for the purposes of a book and career boost. Alas, Gooding's character does get through and discovers that the reason Hopkins killed some poachers was because he was protecting his family of gorillas that had accepted him as one of their own. Sorry if I ruined the plot, but the movie came out in '99. Here is the great part. You learn that Hopkins went to live with the gorillas after years of observing them because they lived in a relatively peaceful community, void of control, agendas and time. There was understood order and there was fighting, but no war, no extinction. You learn that those communities can survive, unless disrupted by "Takers"; those looking for control and advancement over what is really not their's to begin with. Wow, what an intriguing thought. Do you really think it is possible? Do you think it is possible that if every culture consumed only what they needed, were satisfied with the amount of 'stuff' they had on their part of world, that we could all live in relative peace. Is it really possible for any of us to not feel the need to advance and take more that what we need. I definitely don't know the answer to that. I do think as people and especially as a society, that for some reason we have a really hard time feeling content with things. When we have things, we want more. When we have more, we want again more. When we have a spouse, we still want another person. When we get to to have one vacation a year, we want to two; when we have two, we want three. When we have an SUV, we still need a sports car. When we have everything, we still want more. Discontent runs rampant in our world. Don't misunderstand me. I don't think there is anything wrong with having much or consuming much. I'm more interested in the reasons behind consuming more than what we need. If it is because we have alot, give a lot, are diligent and have a lot left over - great, get the sports car. Is it because we never feel quite content with what we already have.... I don't want to be a "taker". I don't want to be discontent. I'm fortunate enough to have the best wife (sorry all you guys out there, but mine just got the universal #1 ranking), best son (same deal) and great house that we love all 1200 square feet of (check back in two years when we have at least one toddler running around in it), at least two families that love me, friends that care about my deepest issues, a dog that is pretty cool and the opportunity to go into business for myself while fulfilling a dream of ours. All in all, I have a pretty sweet gig going on. Not that everyday is great and even with all that I have, there are days when my life for one reason or another doesn't feel fulfilled. My wife, (the #1 ranked wife) taught be that no matter what, life will never fully satisfy us; that not everyday will be perfect. I am so thankful she taught me that because being able to understand that is the first step to finding peace with what you have. She also taught me that sort of all satisfying fulfillment will only come from a higher power than anything Earth alone has to offer. If you believe like Courtney and I do, that will only come from God. Perhaps He designed us that way to remember where we came from in the first place. But regardless of your spiritual beliefs, it is important to understand that all the money in the world, all the mind bending substances in the world, all the friends in the world, all the ANYTHING in the world will not satisfy a person's core. Be thankful for what you do have for all the reasons you were thankful you got them in the first place. And do this not only this season of the year, but in every other season as well. Happy Holidays to you!

Pushing 'Play'

(Disclaimer: Treat this blog as as much of a journal for Courtney and I as anything else. When I say “lesson” what I mean is a lesson I’m making a note of in my head. I am not about to shove lessons down the people’s throats that read this blog. Because you are all better people than I.) Courtney and I recently listened to a great sermon from our former church in Charlotte based on the book of Haggai. I didn’t even know the book existed before (don’t judge me, I’m trying to be authentic). It is two short chapters near the end of the Old Testament with a great history and spiritual lesson. Here’s a brief recap. In around the 7th Century BC the people in Jerusalem were attacked and sent into exile by the Babylonians. The Babylonians basically torched the place; the homes, the temple that Solomon built, everything. For years the Jews lived in exile and then another empire arose in Persia and defeated the Babylonians. Lesson one: never be a bully, there will always be someone quicker, younger, stronger than you that may kick your butt. The leader of this Persian empire, Cyrus, felt led by God to let the Jews return to their Promised Land and rebuild their homes and temple. He even provided them the resources to do so. They returned and got the foundation of the temple built. Then resources began to run low and financial and political unrest grew and work stopped on the temple. They devoted their resources to their food, homes and in general living. Then they received a message from God through the prophet Haggai, “How is it that it’s the ‘right time’ for you to live in your fine new homes while the Home, God’s Temple, is in ruins? (1:4)” WHOOPS! Not the message you’re hoping to wake up one morning and receive. God then gave them direction and encouragement, “I am with you.(1:13)” Lesson 2: If you feel led to call someone to the carpet on something, do so briefly and without apology, then encourage them moving forward. Of course, they proceeded to finish the temple and even though they felt it wasn’t as spectacular as Solomon’s first temple, God promised it would be. “This Temple is going to end up far better than it started out, a glorious beginning but an even more glorious finish: a place in which I will hand out wholeness and holiness.(2:9)” It just so turned out to be the place Jesus was dedicated, thousands were saved and the temple in which the curtain tore when Jesus died. Basically a remarkable place. Lesson 3: Giving back to God doesn’t have to be pretty, just intentional and meaningful. So on to my point. How many times in our lives do we put what is important on pause while we focus on all the wrong things? How many times do we put giving back to God, where we get everything in the first place, on pause to build our own temples? Courtney’s previous blog points out exactly what I’m feeling. While certain aspects of our lives have certainly been on fast forward (really fast, like >>> fast), a certain part of our spiritual lives have been on pause. We’re spending time in the word and in community, but we haven’t been giving back to God. We keep asking Him for more and more, while giving less and less. That’s not being a good friend. Think about if you know someone that always seems willing to take and take and take, but never give. Not a great feeling towards them, is it? So if you believe as I do that everything I have comes from God, and I don’t give back, then I’m just ‘that guy’. It is time to push “Play” and refocus my energy in all my relationships starting with God, my wife, my child and my family and friends. Thank you for *listening* and peace and love to you. Thanks Will.

Invincible

Surprise! It's Courtney writing today. I am not as talented as my husband at blogging, but this morning I have the urge to do so. I was just reading something this morning that made me stop for a minute and even though Thanksgiving has already passed, a huge wave of thankfulness just swept through my body. And while it brings such joy and peace to my heart, it also makes me ache for others. Either those who aren't as fortunate or for those who are but for some reason can't see what they have. Most of you who know Jarod, Liam and me well know that we have 2 houses (one that won't sell), 3 cars (again...one that we need to sell), a new baby (NO!, not for sale), downsized careers, maternity leave and we are trying to open a business at the same time. Money is getting tight and stress levels are rising. Just this past week the stress has really started setting in. Even to the point where Jarod and I got frustrated with each other (which honestly happens like once a year). It's the first time in a while that we have stress to the level of our chests tightening and I have to say I somewhat like it. Yep. I said I like it. It has made me think and pray and analyze and think and pray. All of this thinking, praying and analyzing has brought me to the place that I am this morning. So incredibly thankful, in so many different aspects of the word. I know that no matter what happens on this earth I will ALWAYS have my faith, my unreal husband and my precious baby boy. Those are all that I need to survive. I know that nothing can take away my faith and if something tragic were to happen that would take away the beings of my husband or son, nothing can take away the experiences that I've had with both. I have experienced love on this earth from both of them that can NEVER be beat. To realize all of this over this past week and to have taken the time to process it and stew over it has been so refreshing. I somewhat feel invincible. Nothing can tackle me. Nothing can strip me of what is vital to me. My God has instilled in me all that I need to love Him and trust in Him and He has given me all that I need to love and adore my family. Why do I find it so hard to TRUST in my God at times? Every single time I remember to TRUST Him and lean on Him. There is always a sense of stabilty and peace and "everything is going to be ok"-idness. Therefore, I am so thankful. Who cares if our house doesn't sell and we end up with no money. Who cares if we cut our salaries in half to go after a dream. Who cares even if that dream fails. We know why we went after it in the first place and will never regret that. We will always be able to at least get by financially. In wordly ways, we may struggle some. But, the important thing is that our hearts are always full and always overflowing so that we may always be able to give from them. To share everything in our hearts so that others may feel love the way that we get to feel love. To sum this all up.....I am thankful for my God who loves me and provides for me. I am thankful for my strong yet tender husband. I am thankful for this little ball of love of a son that I have. But, mostly, I am thankful for stress. This stress reminds me of everything I have that can never be taken from me. And after this time passes, we will all still have each other. At the fact (not risk...fact) of being cheezy.....I encourage you to take a second and think about what cannot be taken from you. What do you possess in your heart that is so concrete that it could never be chipped away at? What are you thankful for today? To realize it will make you feel invincible.

Love Oozes

Thanks for wanting to share in Liam's life and thanks for being willing to do it via this blog site. I feel like I need to apologize. You come here anxiously awaiting pictures of Liam and in turn receive about 250 words about whatever random thought I'm having at the moment. That is, of course, if you read it! Liam is doing great. After a short bout with baby acne (I reminisced) he is doing and looking great. We're really working on that first purposeful smile and holding our heads up right now. It's really amazing how having a child opens up a whole new wardrobe of emotions that I don't think exist consciously to a person until that child is born. You learn a real lesson about grace, mercy and love that you can't experience before you have a child. It is no stronger than the love you feel for a spouse, but different and equally cool! When I'm holding him and he's asleep with me, I am only hoping that the love that I'm feeling for him is oozing out of me and wrapping itself all around and throughout him. I hope that is the feeling that he is learning and taking in from Courtney and I. Courtney is the exact definition of love. Evertything about her is love. So if he doesn't learn it from her, we have a problem. Don't you wish you could just exude love to anyone around you at any time and they could feel it and perhaps make their day. I actually think maybe you can. I mean, typically you can tell when someone is giving off negative energy around you, so why not positive emotions? How many times do we wake up and say "I am going to impact someone's day for the better today." Life can be broken down (over)simply into a series of decisions all day long right? Whether or not to get up for work. Which route to take to work. Whether or not to flip that person the bird that wouldn't let you in so you have to go to the next exit and backtrack? I would like to actually tally mark every single decision I make in one day and see how many times I made the right decision. As vague as 'right' can be, I will define it as something that would be a more positive impression for another person watching objectively or could see into my heart and mind. I bet I would fail miserably. Then I could set a goal of increasing my percentage of 'right' decisions over time and hopefully make more of a positive impact on the world. What if everyone charted their decisions and made a 1% improvement from one day to the next. On an aggregate level that would only be a 1% increase, but it would also be 6 billion percentage point increases. That's a lot of 'right' decisions. The world would look completely different! Hmmm, I'm going to challenge myself to make more and more 'right' decisions everyday. Care to join me? (Ok, that was like 3 random thoughts that are very loosely connected at best - join me next time on why I think the Writers Guild of America strike is a good thing). Funny video of the week for me. This is my nephew Casey at his 2nd birthday party. Check him out when he notices the camera and gives the camera direction to "SMILE!". The video didn't capture it as good as it was live, but it's still funny! http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7609247169125944823 Peace, love and happiness to you.

Faces

One thing I can always count on so far from Liam is a good laugh everyday. He makes more funny faces in a day than I can count. Some of my favorites are his 'mad face' when he is crying. It is so sweet, I have a bad feeling that he's going to get what he wants in life (only from his Mom, of course). I also like it when he laughs, and doesn't even realize he's laughing. The very best thing about having my new schedule of only working 3 days a week and having Courtney and Liam there everyday is the amount of face time that I get with the whole family more often than I deserve. Face time is a long lost value in our culture. We are so good at instantly mass communicating now that genuine, personal interaction is undervalued and overwhelmed by technology. That is one of the reasons I've started blogging (other than the obvious desire to listen to myself talk). But I hope it will cut down on my "have to check my email" attitude so I can spend that time talking to family, friends and especially God, who to my knowledge doesn't have a cell phone or email account. I hope we don't fall into this trap of not spending quality time with people because we don't have to in order to get the necessary information to get us through the day. Remember before cell phones when if someone wasn't home to left a message on an answering machine and were happy to be called back two days later. And then people got mobile and we could expect to be called back within a half of a day. Now that isn't good enough and we send a text message and know that we are going to get an immediate response and if we don't, we just don't know what we'll do with ourselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm a texter and the technology in place is wonderful for many reasons, emergencies are a great example. But people had to make a lot more executive decisions before we could get so much instant 360 degree feedback on every thought. Let's get back to decision making. I'm going to make the decision to stop writing this and go hang out with Courtney and Liam. I'm interested in a good conversation and a good laugh. Cheers,

Right Where it Belongs

So much is changing in our lives everyday. We've gone from looking at life in terms of 6 or 12 months to every single moment is important. Liam does something new everyday. Today he took his first bottle, without hesitation. That got Courtney excited for obvious reasons. Our new favorite hobby is to just sit and watch and try to make sure we don't miss anything. One of my favorite things to think about are his little hands. Actually, his hands seem quite big to me for his age, but relative to ours, they're small. Anyway, when one of us is holding him or feeding him and he lays his hand on of our hands, it feels like there is such a love transferring from one to the other. There is a total reliance of one hand to the other. As if, for this moment, that is exactly where his hands belong. We know it won't always be that way, so we have to cherish it while it lasts. So far so good.

Sweet Emotions

As I write...my sweet, handsome man lies on my chest just as he is in this picture with his Daddy. Feeling his tiny, warm body on my mine and listening to his whispers of breath is the most precious gift. Having Liam come into our lives has changed our lives so much already and it's wonderful. Literally, my body is not big enough to contain all of the emotions I feel on minute by minute basis. There is an entirely new human being on this earth that is half the man I love and adore and half myself. I just can't comprehend it at times. The love I have for him is unlike anything I could have imagined. Of course I knew I would absolutely adore him and want to eat him up, but there is almost an aching feeling that goes along with the depth of the love I feel for him. I've never been able to stare at someone so long and not grow weary of it. It's amazing to know that I have a son. It's the greatest feeling. Then, to top off those emotions...the love I feel for my husband now has changed as well. Well, there's an addition I should say instead of change. All of the love and adoration I had for him before are still present. However, now there's an entirely new layer. Watching him stare at Liam as he holds him or to see him JUMP at the opportunity to change his diaper just to be involved makes me love him in a whole different way. I knew he would be a great father just because of the wonderful man and husband he already is, but I don't think I quite expected him to enjoy it as much as it appears he does. I can tell he just gushes for Liam. And that makes me fall in love with him even more. So, like I said....my body just isn't big enough to contain all of the emotions I feel as a new mom. Most would call all of this hormones. :) I just like to think of them as sweet emotions.

3 Way Kisses

The new addition to our family brought us a new activity - 3 way kisses. It's so fun to lean in and feel the lips of my wife and usually the ear, cheek or something else of my son. It's like the love triangle that God intended to occur. It is so bizarre to be so happy considering the lack of sleep and the fact that we get peed and pooped on so often. I must say that I have had it very easy thus far. Courtney is doing 80%+ of the work in addition to recovering. She is doing very well and is absolutely an outstanding mom. It has only made me admire her more as a person. Several of people have asked what it is like, the whole process from the labor to the birth to becoming a father. All I can say is that I think everyone's experience is so personal and unique that it doesn't matter what anyone tells you, you cannot be properly prepared for it. I was prepared to be the dad that passes on cutting the cord, then passes out on the floor. I was prepared for yelling, people everywhere and pretty much chaos in general. It was nothing like that; it was very controlled, calm and peaceful (I'm sure Courtney may have a different set of adjectives). I found myself not at all acting like I thought I would. One feeling I remember is guilt for being able to feel so normal physically while Courtney felt so (I'm not even go to try and fill in a word here). I also feel very blessed that our process went as smoothly as it did as I know that not everyone's does. The two things that everyone has been right about is that (1) you don't sleep much at all and (2) the unconditional love you feel for this new person is unbelievable and also cannot be described from a father to someone that isn't a father. That is why I think prayer for strength, discernment and selflessness as the man going into this is important for all the dads. Other than that, don't take my advice, because your experience will surely be different.

William Paul "Liam" has Arrived!

We are very happy and blessed to welcome William Paul "Liam" DeLozier into the world on September 24, 2007 at 6:13am. Even though he was 4 weeks early, he was a healthy tall, skinny boy at 6 lbs 14 oz and 20 inches long! I've decided that I have the strongest wife in the history of the world. She was brave and strong and is already getting nominations for "Mom of the Year" (from Liam). I've tried to upload a few pictures and hope that this is the place where you can read updates, see the newest pics and share your comments with Liam. Here is the first bunch, enjoy and check back often!

Us...on a blog site?

Hmmm...This is new and different. Once I started designing our .mac site, and never finished. Another time we started a myspace page, only because you have to have one to look for other people and because Courtney's high school reunion was planned almost entirely through it. So why would I think we would follow through with a blog spot. I'm not sure I do think we will, but I'm willing to try. What a great way to update people in a culture where time is valuable and spare time is hard to come by. Look at what email, cell phones and Facebook have done to an ancient human requirement - solitude. We spend all of our time working, sleeping and instantly mass communicating. We don't have enough time for a relationship with ourselves and our families. That is what I hope to achieve through this. Maybe I can spend less time addicted to my email and spend that valuable time hanging out with Courtney and Mr. Liam when he joins us, God willing, in October. What will I commit to? Nothing. But I will make an attempt to write something once a month or so. And maybe Courtney will write some things occasionally also. I hope no one will judge my grammar and I hope people give a crap. If you meet those requirements, enjoy!